Here comes Number Four...

Ok, I think I am ready for this to happen. But are you ever really ready? I don't think so. It just happens and you go with it. Yes, we will be having another baby. Yea! I am excited, scared, nervous, apprehensive, giddy, relieved, strained, spitiural...I am sure there are more emotions that have happened in the last 13 weeks since I have found out. I know that if I sat here long enough I would remember them all. But my poor Pregnancy Brain seems to get worse with each one.
I am excited that we will be having another baby. I am excited that we will be adding to the family, that Kasen will have a younger brother or sister. I am scared that I will lose my sanity. I am nervous for Kasen that he will get lost in being the "middle" child. All the others, Kassia and Jesiah, they were at least two and half. He just turned one. This baby will be born in Aug. and so that makes them about 19 months apart. That seems so little to me. I am giddy that Kasen will be at least in nursery, and that I may be done before I turn 30, (having children that is). Relief that I at least remember how to take care of a little baby. When you wait two years plus to have another baby...it seems like you forget those sleepless nights, not going out of the house for days, not taking a shower till three in the afternoon...ect. Of course with older ones, I know I will not get away with not going out of the house for days. Even when I had Kasen, seven days later I was running the older ones to preschool, play dates, dance class ect. Strained...lets see, that means two children in diapers and more formula. We just got done with that. :) Spiritual...well that one is easy, there is a baby growing inside of me, a spirit of God. I get to raise this special soul. How exciting is that. No words can express this.
On a finial note...We will be finding out the sex of the baby this time. The reason is simple...Kassia is pretty sure that it is her Baby sister that is coming down from Heaven. She has talked about this little girl from the moment that Kasen came home from the Hospital. I thought it would pass...but for some reason it has not. I even had people ask if I was pregnant because she talked about it so much. Well now I can say yes, I am.