I know I have not updated in a while but I have to vent for just a minute. First let me just say that our summer has flown by, we started it off with a 12 day trip at the beginning of June, then the first of July, Aedyn came to stay with us and he is still here, He leaves at the end of next week. After he leaves we will only have two maybe three weeks left of summer. So it really has just flown by.
I thought I was doing a great job, keeping the kids on task. Everyday we had a schedule, morning chores... they only had to do one or two...then lunch at the park, because it is free, then home for thirty minute reading time and Jaren down for a nap, math problems after reading time, then play time. They could ride bikes, go to friends, put the sprinklers on, play the wii, really what ever they wanted. It was about between 2-3 when this happened. Really they didn't have to be home until dinner at 6. Then it was night stuff and family time. Not a bad schedule right? Maybe I am wrong.
Last week I had, had it up to my eyebrows in fighting, arguing and bad attitudes. Mostly from Jesiah about what Kassia and/or Aedyn are doing. Aedyn is always playing the "Poor is me" to everything that happens. And Kassia is getting more and more snotty and fighting back louder then Jesiah. Really I don't even know how to handle it. Aedyn is a cousin... he is two weeks younger then Jesiah. He is great, i mean really good and doing things that are asked of him if there are other people around. I ask him to unload the dishes, no complaining, not whining, he just does it. WONDERFUL! But nothing is never his fault and people are just mean to him for no reason.
Sooooooooooo, I am done with all the fighting. I enrolled all three of the kids in camp from 9am-3pm everyday this week. It has been like heaven without them hear. I am loving the time with just the two little ones.
So am I a bad mom for not wanting to be around my kids? Am I wrong to feel like the summer can not end fast enough? And what should I do about it?
Jaren takes a nap at 1:00 in the afternoon untill almost 4:00pm. I can not go anywhere during that time. This camp might save my kids from being killed before school starts or from spending the rest of the summer in their rooms.
In fact that is what happened tonight with Jesiah and Aedyn, after they got home from camp... they were playing outside in the sprinklers, Aedyn come to the door and tells me that Jesiah said somehting mean about how the only thing that matters is if Aedyn were dead...
Me: I asked why Jesiah would say that.
Aedyn: "I don't know. And he hit me on the arm and it hurt."
Ok, Aedyn, what is going on outside, are you guys playing or fighting?
Well, Jesiah is fighting.
What do you want me to do about it?
Punish Jesiah, tell him he has to come in now.
*Now when the kids want me to punish another kid for something that is going on, in our house it happens to both kids, the punishment. Because it takes two people to fight and one person to tell on the other. I have explained this to Aedyn, many times while he has been here. So when he told me this my response was:
OK, come in and go change your clothes, you will stay in your room untill dinner Aedyn. (I was expecting him to say, oh never mind, we are fine. I will just go back outside. Nope he didn't he came in and headed up the stairs. So I had to call Jesiah in who was madder then a bee about the whole thing claiming he didn't do ANYTHING to Aedyn. Aedyn kept hitting him in the eye with the squirt gun after Jesiah asked him to stop)
But both boys spent the evening in their room until dinner. When Ket got home he went and checked on them and they were playing.
Enough venting... I was just wondering if this was normal and what you did about it? Any, I mean ANY suggestions would be wonderful!
2 comments:
All I have to say is thaqt you're amazing! I have a hard time with just one child, so when you do it with 4+ children, you're my hero! Luv ya, and you're doing a great job! (I would love to give you advice, but I have never run into this problem myself.)
Hey, Nicole - I love catching up with your and Ket's adventures! Summer is so bittersweet. I wanted to make the most of the time with the kiddos, and we have had a blast, but the fighting has driven me crazy at times, INSANE! I talked to a family who had successfully raised 6 kids who are hard workers, happy, successful people and asked what she did about fighting. She gave me a big "Oh my kids knew better than to let me hear them fighting - if they did it was extra chores without argument." I didn't want my kids to hate cleaning, but hers certainly didn't hate it, and I had HAD it so I decided to give it a shot. It has worked WONDERS! Instead of being pushed to tears, when I hear fighting I look around for what needs to be cleaned and silently hand the wipes, brooms, sponges, with a little smile. I don't care what it's about or who started it and they look at each other and get to work. Trenton and Kali are almost 5 and 7 so it usually entails disenfectant wipes on doors, baseboards, washing windows - simple things. They get one warning a day with the whole "what would have been a better way to handle it" so they learn communication skills, but after that there is no fighting allowed. It has been HEAVENLY. The fighting stops immediately and my house is clean. I often hear them starting to escalate and then stop and whisper "extra chores." And it's done. Good Luck and hang in there - summer's almost done! - Julie Allen (BYU-H)
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